#72 Long-Distance Love: Handling Porn, Apps, and Real Talk - with Karina Lagarrigue

Synopsis:

This episode dives into the complexities of intimacy, fidelity, and connection for couples navigating life in different locations. In this candid conversation with Couples Therapist, High Sensitivity Specialist and Sex Therapist Karina Lagarrigue we bring to the forefront the tough and often unspoken realities faced by partners separated by distance.

We unpack why issues like pornography and dating app use can arise. We discuss the loneliness and vulnerability that can lead couples to seek comfort online, and how seemingly simple actions can have deeper meanings and impacts on relationships.

Host Rhoda Bangerter and Karina Lagarrigue don’t shy away from the difficult questions: Is fidelity truly possible when you’re physically apart for months at a time? How do you build trust and intimacy when life keeps pulling you in different directions? And, most importantly, how do you create a safe space to talk about your needs and desires—no matter where you are in the world?

If you’ve ever struggled with maintaining closeness across the miles or wondered how to keep the connection alive, you’re not alone. This episode is full of empathy, practical advice, and encouragement for couples everywhere, and especially those living geographically separate across countries and continents. Tune in for an honest, nuanced look at modern intimacy and the power of communication, knowing yourself, creativity, and trust.

Key takeaways for anyone navigating these waters—whether you’re an expat, frequent traveler, or simply in a long-distance relationship:

🔹 Understanding the "Why" Matters

Before reacting to a partner’s use of technology—whether it’s pornography or dating apps—stop to ask why. Often, these behaviors stem from unmet needs, loneliness, or gaps in connection, not just disinterest or infidelity.

🔹 Communication & Boundaries Are Non-Negotiable

Meaningful conversations about needs, fears, and boundaries can transform how couples experience distance and sexual intimacy. Don’t wait for a crisis to talk; proactively clarify what fidelity and trust look like in your unique context.

🔹 Intimacy Is Broader Than We Think

Physical reconnection after time apart isn’t just about sex. Find creative, pressure-free ways to connect—emotionally, intellectually, and physically. Rebuilding intimacy requires patience, generosity, and sometimes professional support.

Remember: we aren’t raised to have these conversations, so it’s normal to feel awkward or uncertain. But cultivating trust and self-awareness is possible - and worth it.

If you want to hear more on this subject, listen to my conversation with Phillips Hwang in Episode #37 ‘Love Knows No Borders, Connection and Intimacy in Long Distance’ 

Are you a couple who moves?

Join Wiebke and I in Autumn 2025 for a virtual summit designed to inspire, educate, and empower you as an expat couple. www.expatcouplessummit.com

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Your partner's job opportunity in another country seemed like an exciting idea, but lengthy work assignments mean you're holding down the family fort - alone.

OR Your partner is working and living in another country, and you feel like you are shouldering all the home responsibilities alone.

You may be wondering:

• How can we be a family when we're miles apart?
• Can I cope, alone, when troubles arise?

I believe there are answers to the above questions, and the answers start with you. In this context, it's more important than ever to invest in yourself, to care for yourself, to set your own goals and to watch yourself grow. Equally important is to nurture your relationship with your partner and learn to parent together.

Buy the book: Holding the Fort Abroad