#71 Powerful Lessons from a Life of Constant Change - with Colleen Higgs

Synopsis:

Colleen Higgs shares her insights from many moves and times when her husband worked far from home.  We discuss the hidden costs of change, the importance of recognising and naming transitions, and Coleen shares hard-won wisdom about making space for recuperation and letting go of impossible expectations. She offers practical strategies drawn from her upcoming book and her own journey - reminding us that it’s okay to prioritise, slow down, and ask, “What matters now?”

If you are in the middle of a transition and feel you don’t have time to listen to more podcasts, this episode is worth the listen! It will help you give yourself grace, it is packed with insights that you need for your transition, you’ll recognise yourself in what we talk about as we meander through the huge impact of change and transition in our life.

“Expecting to go through a big transition without stress is like going to the gym and expecting not to sweat. You have extra demand, but you need to recuperate more often.” 

Here are four standout takeaways for anyone tackling transitions—at home, at work, or across continents:

Transitions Demand More Than You Think

• Transitions are supposed to be hard! Expecting zero stress is unrealistic; be ready for extra emotional, mental, and practical load when life shifts.

Transitions Will Change Your Day to Day Life 

• What will be more difficult? What will require more planning? How will my responsibility change?

Intentional Recuperation Is Non-negotiable

• You can’t just power through. Colleen recommends building in time to truly recuperate (not just rest), intentionally choosing what to drop, and giving yourself permission to ease up during intense periods of change.

Prioritize What Matters Now

• When routines and roles are in flux, ask yourself: what matters most in this moment? Don’t worry about ideal standards or “best practices” from another season or culture—focus on what your family, team, or self needs right now.

For those in split locations, Colleen recounts a conversation she had with someone recently: ‘she and her husband did a split location situation for a period of a few years, and they were both very high functioning career people, so they just did it. In retrospect, she told me, by the time I knew it was too much for me, we were in it. We were committed. I felt like I couldn't tell him. It took us years to recover, to get on the same page as parents and as a family again. And just if I had any idea of what a big transition it would be, would have been for our family, I would have done things differently. I would have dropped some commitments, some committees, maybe stepped off the corporate ladder for a period. I would have made some intentional decisions, but I didn't realize how hard it would be until I was in the middle of it.’

It is also important to think about how that transition affects your life on a more daily level. Moves will be more obvious, but think how a split location will affect your day to day life: what is going to be more difficult, what it going to take more planning, etc.

Colleen's Book

Colleen’s book on transitions is nearly ready for beta readers! If you’d like to share your perspective or get a sneak peek, sign up for her newsletter or express your interest at: colleen@colleenhiggs.com

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Your partner's job opportunity in another country seemed like an exciting idea, but lengthy work assignments mean you're holding down the family fort - alone.

OR

Your partner is working and living in another country, and you feel like you are shouldering all the home responsibilities alone.

You may be wondering:

• How can we be a family when we're miles apart?
• Can I cope, alone, when troubles arise?

I believe there are answers to the above questions, and the answers start with you. In this context, it's more important than ever to invest in yourself, to care for yourself, to set your own goals and to watch yourself grow. Equally important is to nurture your relationship with your partner and learn to parent together.